Return to Animal Farm!!!Return to Animal Farm!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Today’s mental workout for all-imagination week ventures back out on the animal farm that we call life. A lot has happened since our last visit, it seems there’s been some kind of miracle from up above, we have a new world order, all the animals in the universe have been granted the same wonderful gifts as human beings. This ought to be interesting! Animals are now totally religious and going to church on Sundays, wow this is really incredible. They’ve even opened up animal schools to brainwash the youth or we mean teach the young, slip of the keyboard. Apparently these animals seem to think that knowledge and wisdom go a long way. They’ve even set up a 'democratic' government and adopted a constitution. Wow that sounds really thoughtful except most of the flock have no clue what’s in it or what it does, but that’s okay though, the so called elite and wise animals promise to translate everything to the others right after they finish working their day and night shifts. Apparently slave labor, oh we are sorry, another slip of the keyboard, we mean organized labor is the way of the future. Work, that’s what life is all about and of course service to the new Almighty.

As the story progresses, it turns out the constitution was only drafted by the most powerful elite animals with no input from the working flock at all, there were also no female species invited to this all-masculine affair. In the end, it didn’t really matter, you needed a fortune to ever play in this political game anyway. This whole system of government resembled a high stakes poker game, very high stakes. Those with the highest chips were the upper echelons of government of course, they called themselves congress. The donkeys were called Democrats, they sat around on their asses all day. The elephants were Republicans, they were masters at protecting their own hides. If you are wondering what elephants are doing on a farm, these were only white elephants. However the crème of the crop in both parties were the so called Fat Cats, this elite group controlled everything behind-the-scenes from smoke-filled rooms. You know, they made most of the important decisions, cut deals with the corporate giants of big business and the top religious leaders. Whether in government, big business or religion, the system was the same, just obey orders from the top, never question your superiors and of course never doubt the Almighty. The working animals of course had no idea what transpired behind closed doors, they were much too busy fighting each other for the scraps left behind by the elite and trying to make sense of all the new laws.

So the story goes, the regular animals worked and worked and raised their young to do exactly the same. The rich got richer and the poor got poorer. After a while the Fat Cats came up with an even more brilliant plan. They introduced piggy banks to help the masses. They claimed they would help the regular flock achieve all their dreams, buy nice houses and send their younglings to the best educational institutions, you know, live the American dream. That sounded great, it came with a slightly small price to pay, only a 30 year repayment plan. Yes, the banks really cared for the flock, if ever they ran into any financial difficulty along the way, the solution was simple, just take the house back and on to the next file. Furthermore to make their retirement years more comfortable after 40 years of slaving away, oops, another slip, we mean dedication to profession, the Fat Cats introduced the Dow Jones livestock exchange. This was a real win-win, for the Fat Cats we mean, they would profit when the flock's stock did well and also if all became lost. Nobody ever really understood the rules to the exchange, it was like high stakes gambling with hard earned money of others. To make it even sweeter, the government would bail them out if need be. In case you are wondering, capitalism sometimes needs the government to step in especially at the elite level. Wow, with the flock working so hard, you would think universal animal care would be beneficial to all, but no, every animal for themselves. How will this animal story end? Who knows! Stay tuned, till next time when we return to the farm.

Comments

Absolutely hilarious stuff, I

Absolutely hilarious stuff, I don't know how you do it. Well written book by the way, very much enjoying it so far, I will pass on the word.